I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
