I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
