Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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