Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
