Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
