So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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