Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
she peed on how many people?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
