okay pat passed out under dana's car
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
