Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
