Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
The ass gains better be worth it
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