about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
As shirtless as possible
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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