i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
