apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
