My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
