You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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