i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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