Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
