That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
