maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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