But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
