I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
