also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize