Don't you send me to vm
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
