I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You've changed since you got that strap on
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
