10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
