5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
