she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
