Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
