you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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