is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Randomize
