Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
