I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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