my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
