Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize