My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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