The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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