Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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