I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Randomize