btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
