Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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