I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
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