we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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