What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
