You can't motorboat a personality
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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