I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
