no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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