just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
