alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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