Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
