I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
