Do you still have your period?
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
