He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
