so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
