So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
