Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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