I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
