Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
