come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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