when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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