i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Randomize