even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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