On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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